helsbels.net

Oh, how I love the Bridget Jones movies.

How I love Mr Darcy.

I wish Colin Firth was playing Luke in the Shopaholic movie.

I was supposed to be getting an early night, but to hell with that. Instead, I forsee a girly glass of wine, a slice of home made banoffee pie and good ol' Bridge.

Unfortunately, last week I feel victim to a spate of card clonings in East Dulwich. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you wish to look at it) I only lost about £100. Ulster Bank picked up on it quickly and cancelled my card, thus preventing further damage and I should get the money back. For this, I give their security team a nice pat on the back.

For East Dulwich residents, I'm sure you're all aware of the card clonings, but stay away from the cashpoint at Tesco Metro, East Dulwich Road, the HSBC cashpoint and avoid using any cards in Somerfield. If you do, make it a credit card as then it is the credit card company's money going astray - not yours.

Back to the Ulster Bank. I am currently in the process of switching to the Alliance & Leicester as 1) they provide a better deal and 2) they actually have branches in England.

I have had issues with the Ulster Bank before. Never believe a bank when they say "Call us if you have a problem! We want to help!" No. No, they don't. They want to make money.

Anyway, after my card was declined in Tesco, I checked my internet banking and all was gravy. I put it down to a card malfunctioning area and forgot about it. The next morning, it happened again so I phoned my branch of the bank. They informed me it was locked as I entered my pin wrongly too many times. I hadn't. Nonetheless, I accept this explanation and put it down to me being absent minded. They told me a brand new pin number had been sent in the post.

Actually, this is slightly amusing, if poor security. I received my brand new pin number. It was exactly the same as my old one. What are the odds?

Back to the story. An hour or so later, I received a call from their security team asking if I'd been to Sri Lanka and was I there now. Um, no. I am in fact in my office, aimlessly sending a few Facebook messages and pondering responding to some emails. They informed me it had been cloned and that they were now cancelling the card for me to prevent any further fraudalent activity. I appreciate their efforts here; they were quick and friendly and helpful.

They then informed me a new card would be sent to me and I'd receive it by Friday. I asked if it could be sent next day as otherwise I had no way of accessing any money. I was told no.

With credit card bills etc due to be paid, I tried to do a bank transfer. Could this be done? No.

Luckily, Vanquis were very nice when I explained the situation to them and said that while they couldn't allow use of my card until I had paid, they would take off any late payment charges and penalties. I received another call from them this morning as they were looking for an update. I did offer to send a cheque with no cheque guarantee number on the back, but they told me not to worry, just to pay when I have my card and they'll amend my credit file accordingly. It's not often companies are this understanding.

Orange, I have a couple of weeks grace on, so no panic there.

Riverford were also understanding.

A week later, I still haven't received my card. I phoned my branch this morning and spoke to the gentleman there. In fairness to him, none of this was his fault. He made no excuses and explained that for some reason, my card had not been ordered and it should have been. He said there was no excuse and ordered me a new one. I asked for next day delivery. He said it couldn't be done. Once again, I stress none of this is his fault and he was sympathetic.

However, with no card for another 7 days and therefore, no way of even transferring money to pay my bills, I face another week of stress, bizarre meals and having to beg people to buy me my travel card so I may get to work.

Surely the banks have some type of system in place where cards can be knocked out in an emergency? It is crazy to expect people to survive for 2 weeks with no cash!

Every morning on my way to work, I walk over London Bridge to get from London Bridge Rail Station to Monument Underground Station. Yes, I am well aware of the fact that I could get the Northern Line, but who wants to deal with that trauma at 7.30 in the morning, during London Rush Hour? A bit of walking never did anyone any harm and I still haven't tired of the rather lovely views when you look out toward Tower Bridge.

Anyway, I digress.

Back to the topic in hand - "The Crossing of London Bridge."

There are three physical activities (in addition to ten pin bowling, of course) which should be considered for inclusion in London 2012.

1) Crossing London Bridge during London Rush Hour.

2) Walking down Oxford Street on a Saturday (or any day, for that matter.)

3) Riding the Underground during London Rush Hour.

Points 2 and 3 should be fairly self-explanatory. If not, attempt some shopping next Saturday and then go and get on the Central Line and ride for a few stops with your nose pressed into somebody elses armpit, before putting your head down and trying to squeeze through the gaps until you find freedom (the station platform.)

Now, London Bridge. I like to compare it to the 1500 metres in terms of tactics; when you cross this assult course, positioning is paramount. Firstly, coming out of the station, try to make your way to the left side of the crowd. There will be slow walkers and there will be city boys swinging their briefcases. Make your way to the outside left. You will then be able to weave around the bollards at the taxi rank to overtake them all. Stay to the right and you will end up getting tangled in the cashpoint queues.

Now, as you make your way around to the passage leading to the parade of shops, up your pace and guide your steps slightly toward the right. You should now be on the outer right hand side of the crowds. This is crucial. If you stay left, you will become boxed in and it is difficult to get out of that position. The slow walkers will win. On the right, you can up your pace and overtake people.

Go down the slope and follow the path inside the monument before coming out to join the main crowd again. You should still be to the right. Now, go, go, GO. Up your pace and to hell with the slow walkers! You will need to do some weaving; you will master this with practise. Always make sure you are wearing suitable footwear; there are a lot of hidden nooks and crannies on London Bridge. Seeing pencil thin heels on rather sexy shoes getting caught and the poor woman wearing them going for a tumble is often amusing, until it happens to you. Sprawling on the floor in your stockinged feet and pencil skirt, while your shoe (and quite possibly the entire population of London Bridge at that oment in time) laughs at you is quite a mortifying experience.

With these tactics in mind, it is entirely possible to walk from the far end of Platform 16 to Monument Underground Station in under 10 minutes. Get boxed in and you will be limping to the finishing line in nearer 20.

Whilst listening to some good hair rock (a term invented by the boyfriend's sister), I had a browse through some of the templates on the Serendipity website. I didn't really want to use a pre-made template, but I just can't get to grips with GIMP and lack the graphic software to come up with any decent graphics.

Graphics really are not my forte anyway.

Anyway, a little bit of browsing and I came across a rather nice, if plain, graphic-free template. A little bit of editing and this is what you see. Plain? Yes, but at least it isn't insulting and/or blinding to the eye.

When I have more imagination and feel more inclined, I will create my own prettyful template, but for now, this will suffice.

I want a glass of wine. Is that so wrong at 4.40pm on a Monday?

Quite possibly.

Once again, another unexplained hiatus.

I have decided to retire from the ways of Wordpress for two reasons.

1) My hosts don't make life easy. Yet, I continue to give them my money. Why?

2) I fancied a change.

So, aimlessly browsing the world of Google on Bank Holiday Monday (how I loathe Bank Holidays,) I came across Serendipity - CMS It is easy to use. This makes a wannabe geek (me!) happy.

Time will only tell if it is as good as the reviews make it out to be, but so far, it is love.

Now, I best try and knock some template together. Time for another cuppa.